Congratulations to Me

Just found out about this today. Shame on Vita.mn for trying to undermine my credibility. “Best Male Socialite”? I know, I know, I should be delighted. Finally, I’m officially in the popular group, well, if you count the Robot Love dork, Matt “size zero” Schmidt, and the PiPress’s intrepid Fargo Transplant Ross Raihala as the popular group. Love those guys, and I know I should feel empowered by the fact that a guy like me, a shlub from White Bear Lake that wears old jeans and drives a vintage Schwinn can become a socialite. You think I’m pretty! You really think I’m pretty! Only in America! But there’s something more insidious going on here. Raise your hand if you’ve read Faludi’s Stiffed. It’s about how men are responding to the advertising/media messaging tractor beam that first subdued the weaker sex. Everybody aboard?

Sure, I’ve been to the parties at our fancy theaters and libraries in the last year. And yes, I’m guilty: I buy shit—-comic books and Nikes and even HBO. But I’m not just a consumer. I’m a journalist (and just because I make it look easy don’t mean it ain’t hard work). I’m not a socialite. Maybe it’s a epithet, maybe not. Probably, here in passive-aggressive, ashamed of overt class distinctions, so-I’ll-just-drive-a-Chevy-SUV-exactly-like-my-employees Minnesota. Usually, that kind of “sensitivity” is irritating, but—-and maybe it’s just because I’m just home from LA—-I’m thinking some of the shame that fuels our reluctance to participate in conspicuous consumption here might be a good thing. So just to be according to Hoyle (if not vita.mn), I have never organized a fund-raiser for my husband. I have never taken my miniature dog to lunch in Wayzata. If you do those things, fine, you’re a socialite. Own it. But I’m not. So who nominated me for this shit? And which 11 people voted for me? And were they all on The Post-Feminist Dumbing Down America Sub-Committee for Commodotizing the Male? Look, ladies, bringing us down to your level isn’t necessarily “equality.” Dudes with eating disorders. Dudes with 100 pairs of shoes and 100 pairs of jeans. Dudes who are considered to be socialites. Of all the things we can learn from women, I don’t know if “grab a Certs after going to the bathroom” should be high on the list.

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10 Responses

  1. Ya know, vita.mn really digs deep.

  2. So five people–sorry, vita.mn users–called Marsh a socialite more than six months ago? That’s a cover story? So much for your “being a journalist is harder than it looks” theory.

  3. Geez, for the last time, I’m not a journalist!

  4. does this mean they’re going to have to take you off the “Hippest Minnesotans 2007” assignment so that you can be featured alongside Ben Graves? I heard you’re going to start doing endorsements for Schmidty’s Retreat for Men.

  5. I voted for you, and I would do it again. It was mostly just a “copy & paste” type answer, but I still stand behind it.

  6. I really do not understand this ranking. But congrats anyway, Steve!

  7. […] Congratulations to Me Just found out about this today. Shame on Vita.mn for trying to undermine my credibility. “Best Male […] […]

  8. I’ve always had you filed in my mental rolodex under “metrosexual caveman”.

  9. I was robbed.

  10. Oh my god, really? The next post?

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